Tuesday 29 September 2009

Supposing I jumped in with both feet ?

Supposing I jumped in with both feet?
No - really jumped in,
Would the water support me? Would I remain buoyant?

Would Jesus Christ be enough?

I go to church.
I don't go to church.
I cling to the side rails of my life.

I cling to the wellworn,welltried,openly accepted view

That to float would be a death to me
That swimming ultimately is
Not achievable
Not for a human
Here on Earth
In this pool
With these laws that govern us
Where the feet meet the ground of the accessible
The necessary
The important
The secure.

Would Jesus Christ be enough for me?
On my insides?
That I could still
Address life full-on
Doing life justice
For those around me?

Is too heavenly to be any earthly good
Or just another
Legend of the Fall?

Or supposing I jumped in with both feet
And there really was a fundamental
between the real in me
and the real out there
where the world

Or do you suppose
the water would catch me,
snuggle me up in its buoyancy,
would laugh its laugh of
I told you so
I would never leave you or forsake you!
How could you even think such a thing?

As I swim now
For the first real time in my life
I swim
at first tentatively
Then ever stronger
Finding the depths
Finding my depths
And chuckling
At the sheer stupidity
That I might have missed this
I might have missed this for the world!

For the clinging onto the sides
with the brave face
the broad smile
the mask face
that says I'm respectable
I'm happy
clinging to the sides and
"How about you?"
"Oh, you too? Thought so.
Oh, not for me this swimming business"

And still clinging on I would have missed
the diving
the looping
the exhileration
of knowing
I am kept
by a liquid
when I could have thought
that this was not possible
How can somebody be kept by a liquid
For when you run your hand through it
There is nearly nothing there ?

How does it happen
that I am buoyed up
By YOUR grace, YOUR love
When there is nearly nothing there ?

How does it happen that
the creation itself which surrounds
is waiting for a bunch of people
jump in
on their insides.
For all creation is waiting on tiptoe just to see
The sons of God
Come into their own....

How does that work?
Surely there is a disconnection
between me
and the outside world.
This, everybody knows
Don't they?

I mean if the outside world was a feedback
a loudspeaker foldback into our soul
Where would everyone be?

Surely our whole thin veneer of culture
is based on the fact
That the two are unrelated
The outside
from the inside
Surely that's a given
In common parlance.

The whole of Creation, You say
Is waiting
For the sons of God
To come into their own....inheritance?

So all these millennia
we have wasted
at the side of the pool?

The waters rush on now
The river runs
The water of justice waiting to happen,
The river of joy
and cleansing,
Clean clean water
for drinking
for swimming in
rushing ever onward to achieve its goals.
Sweeping all with it
All that want to be swept
and not to cling
at the side rails
of a life
that never has a chance
to know
to really know
Jesus in me,as me
the One who died
to free my purpose
On this Earth and in the one to come.

Chris Welch 5.30am 30th September 2009

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