Yes I Am 27 - A Woman and a Man Tell It

Yes I Am by Norman Grubb

Chapter 27

A WOMAN AND A MAN TELL IT

Here are two letters which show the same thing. They show the difference which realizing who we are makes in our thinking and acting. They make it plain that even committed, consecrated servants of Christ may be living with a conscious inner gap between themselves and Him. When the storm blows, that Christian finds himself at one end of the boat sinking, while Christ is asleep at the other - and he has to call on Him to awake and save him! What a difference when the Christian realizes that there is no difference - that Christ is on the boat in him, as him - and when the sea gets rough, he rebukes the storm as He.

The first letter comes from a friend of many years, Cally Gordon, now a widow with her five children in their early twenties and upward. She has been involved in the Lord’s work for many years, and we’ve had many meetings and conversations together. She was with us in our Wisconsin Conference, and then in the home of Dr. John and Linda Bunting, in Louisville, Kentucky, which is really a family home to us in our Union Life fellowship, and where a number of us gather for our annual family fellowship. She writes:

To say the least, my time with you all meant a transformation in my thoughts. Suddenly everything I had read, heard and talked with you about in the past twenty years seemed to "jell" and becomes a reality. It became me! It was almost like a miracle! And ever since, I’ve experienced something within - which for so many years was more intermittent, but which now has become continuous, and which also has become a definite part of my consciousness - or really, which has become me. It’s like a long voyage (learning is), and finally arriving at my destination. So in actuality (slowly arriving after all these years) the new "me" is really Christ as me. I know it, I live it, and it’s a reality not just occasionally or after "down times," but all the time.

During these twenty-odd years, by talks, letters, et cetera, something real was actually transpiring in a tangible way, a new or increased consciousness was becoming me. But going to the Union Life Conference Center in Wisconsin (before going on to the Louisville conference) was God’s way for me to finally emerge from my cocoon and into the miracle of knowing who He is and who I am (that knowing within the deepest part of me); and the fetters of concern or worry of what is happening and why - the hurts of life, etc., which come to all of us - all began to fall off. I know the hurts will come, but I know what to do with them. (I knew before, but somehow there was a block somewhere in me which allowed them to remain in me, even though as a shadow.)

So now I live in the center of me. I live from the real me, and not in the appearance of things which come and go. I cannot convey to you (or can I?) the true sheer joy of arriving home, finding in truth and in reality Him as me. In the past, the knowledge in my head was frequently forgotten for a time, with the illusion that all the painful experiences were the reality. Even though I’d try not to believe this, nevertheless the pains of the hurts caused me, for a moment, to forget that knowledge. I had learned about Reality v. illusion. Apparently God has a time for all of us to know, to reach that destination within our being where it’s not only settled, but there is nothing else but Him to us. Everything now is God. (Of course it always was, but I concentrated on appearances too much.) Circumstances, events, people, actions, everything is He, and my spirit is quiet and one with Him, and that is fixed, not only in my saying it, but because I honestly know it.

What a glorious life it really is, to finally arrive home in Him - that’s where I live now, and it works! So many years of struggle and pain, but that was God’s way for me and it was good. I now live in that center. The wind, rain and storms may come and probably will - but I’m not the old me who will be blown about with the pain of them, because I’m fixed forever.

I just had to ramble on, as I knew that you would want to know that these days clinched it all for me. God’s time - for me - for that miracle of all miracles, the Knowledge, the Knowing, the Reality (Is there any way to aptly describe it?), the glorious Constant Consciousness of that mystery "Jesus as me." What a relief. I’ve come to Rest!

The second letter is from a stockbroker, Robert Chamberlain. He writes:

On February 20, 1973, at the age of 21, I asked Jesus to forgive my sins and come into my heart. Twelve days later, in a charismatic church, I indicated my desire to be filled with the Holy Spirit. So I was taken to the prayer room along with a few others and we all received instructions about how to "receive." Shortly after several people had laid their hands on me and began praying, I experienced what charismatics frequently label as "the baptism with signs accompanying."

Two years later, in January 1975, I was involved in the biggest decision of my life. At this point I recognized that up to that time in my life I had not experienced what Norman Grubb refers to as the "second crisis." But I was unfamiliar with his books at that time. I merely knew before that I did not do God’s will, but now I realized that I could not do God’s will. What a predicament! I prayed. I read. I searched for an answer.

During this time I read about such men of God as Charles Finney, Dwight Moody, Hudson Taylor, John Hyde, Rees Howells, and many more. I noticed that most of them spoke of an experience with God, apart from salvation, that drastically changed their lives. After they were saved - after they had done works for God such as starting missions, churches, schools, etc. - after all these things - something happened. They met God in a new way. They called it by various names, but they seemed to share a common experience. This is what I needed. This is what I sought - a deeper experience with God which would radically transform my life to be able to perform that impossible task which was set before me.

In my searching, I came across Norman Grubb’s book The Spontaneous You, and was greatly blessed. I discovered that Norman had a more recent book entitled Who Am I?, so I bought a copy and read it and underlined it, and read it again and again. I knew that this man had what I wanted, and he was trying to share it with me. I prayed the prayer that he recommended about acknowledging "Christ in me," but nothing happened. Still I persisted. I read more of his books and the books of others, mostly biographies of men of God. My hunger increased, and my yearning grew more intense. When would God answer my cry?

I began to have serious doubts about God and about myself. I came dangerously close to turning my back on God, my wife, everything. If God was real, why wouldn’t He answer my cry? If He wasn’t real, I wasn’t going to waste my life "playing church." I was really getting desperate.

On the evening of November 8, 1978, a Wednesday, I was troubled, as usual. I went into my study and shut the door behind me. I talked to God. I don’t remember what I said. I flipped through a few books I had on my shelf about men of God. I read Dwight Moody’s account of his "baptism in the Holy Spirit" again. I read Hudson Taylor’s account of his experience with God after he had been a missionary for many years. I read the book of Romans. In the fourth chapter of Romans I came across the story of Abraham. The following excerpts seemed to come alive to me.

As Paul wrote in Romans 4:3-13 (NIV): "Abraham believed God, and it was credited to him as righteousness... To the man who... trusts God,... his faith is credited as righteousness… Under what circumstances was it credited? Was it after he was circumcised, or before? It was not after, but before! And he received the sign of circumcision, a seal of the righteousness that he had by faith while he was still uncircumcised." Then Paul continued: "It was not through law that Abraham and his offspring received the promise that he would be heir of the world, but through the righteousness that comes by faith."

God had given Abraham a promise, I saw. By all human means, it would be impossible for Abraham to ever obtain that promise. Yet, Abraham believed. He didn’t understand. He just believed. And because he believed what God had said - even though the thing was impossible - he was righteous. He walked in the truth that God had declared. He assumed the role of the "Father of many nations" even though it was impossible for him and his wife to have a son.

Because Abraham believed God and walked in the truth, he was righteous. Did he feel righteous? Had he any outward signs of being righteous? I think not. He received circumcision much later. The inward reality existed long before the outward evidence appeared. But he was righteous as soon as he believed.

God was going to perform this impossible task in me and through me. I didn’t have to do it. God would do it. In fact, it was already done. Right from the beginning, I had always been what "I" couldn’t become. All I do is believe God's Word about me is true and that is pressing the Start button. How God turns the wheels to confirm it is up to His processes. 


God was telling me to believe. The task was impossible for me to perform. But I didn’t have to perform it. I had now come to the point where I could appropriate Galatians 2:20: "It’s Christ that lives in me." God was going to perform this impossible task in me and through me. I didn’t have to do it. God would do it. In fact, it was already done. Right from the beginning, I had always been what "I" couldn’t become. The truth of Galatians 2:20 became real to me. I now saw what Norman and the others came to see. I read on in Romans 4:18-23: "Against all hope, Abraham in hope believed and so became the father of many nations… He did not waver through unbelief,… but was strengthened in his faith and gave glory to God, being fully persuaded that God had power to do what He had promised. This is why ‘it was credited to him as righteousness.’ The words ‘it was credited to him’ were written not for him alone, but also for us, to whom God will credit righteousness - for us who believe in Him who raised Jesus our Lord from the dead."

Now, for the very first time, I could see what it was all about. I called to my wife and shared these things with her. I told her that this was what Norman Grubb had been talking about when he spoke of a second crisis. We reread a portion of Who Am I? - and Norman said that when you come to this point, you say a prayer acknowledging that it is Christ now living in you; not yourself any longer. I asked my wife, "What shall we do?" There was a long silence. I answered my own question, "I think we have to."

She replied, "We really don’t have any choice."

As we realized that Jesus wanted to take over our lives it seemed exciting, except for one fact: in order for Him to live in us, we had to die. That wasn’t so exciting. But we prayed the prayer, one at a time in our own words. I really believed. Before I prayed the prayer I expected that at some time - several years later maybe - I would receive a sign or seal of what God had done. But, immediately upon acknowledging that Christ was in me now, something happened. I received a seal upon my heart. No lightning. No choirs of angels. Nothing had changed. And yet, everything was different. It wasn’t just a profession by faith. Christ in me was me - is me! He was there all the time - I just hadn’t let Him "be" before. At this point I have a hard time trying to explain just what happened. But it happened to my wife, too. Everything is different now for both of us. There is a world of difference between life as we live it now and life as we lived it before.

I had many questions in my mind before this. Questions such as "Who am I? What am I? Who is God? What is life?" and many, many more. Before, these questions haunted me. Now it didn’t matter. What matters now is Christ in me. Everything else is O.K. The problems are still there - maybe more than before. But now it is O.K. Christ is still there too; and He’ll take care or them.

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Coming Out of Darkness Part 10 by Gary Sigler

Facebook note on Wednesday, 30 March 2011 at 17:08

Transformation not Condemnation Part 4

This renewing of the mind is a process, not an instant change. No matter how carnal you think you are, if you will keep hungering after God, you will be renewed day by day. Everything in life takes time. First you have a seed, then a small blade, and eventually a full ear of corn. We are the seed of God. His seed is growing in the midst of our carnality, and eventually that seed of His life will grow and consume everything in us that is not of God. This is a work of grace, not a matter of self-effort or natural willing. "It is not of him that wills, nor of him that runs, but of God that shows mercy" (Romans 9:16). As mentioned earlier, we have inherited habit patterns from our forefathers. The sins of the forefathers are visited upon the children for generations, and it's not a spiritual thing, it's a natural thing. Those things have to be transformed. There are habit patterns which have developed, sometimes for generations, that you inherit. That's why I was full of lust; I inherited it just like a disease. And you know, we cannot receive anything from God except through the eyes of faith. If you are under condemnation and guilt, it's impossible for you to receive from God, because you feel that you deserve what you have. And again, nominal Christianity will teach you, "You deserve what you have -- look at what you are doing! You call yourself a Christian, and you are out there drinking and smoking and chasing women and doing all of the things you shouldn’t ." But you need transformation, not condemnation. One of the first things that will help you is to have the revelation that God and man are one. And I want to explain to you just a little bit about what I mean when I say this, because I have been getting letters recently from people (and these people are not critical; they are people who love me and haven't known me very long, but who have come to love the ministry that I have). They tell me things like this: "You should never say God and man are one, because the New Age people and the New Age movement, and this one-world religious thing that is going on out there are saying some of the same things that you are saying. So therefore, if you use this terminology, you have to be careful, because it's New Age." But if New Age people are proclaiming the truth, if a Buddhist monk is speaking some truth, then do I not speak that truth because somebody will think that I am a monk, or a Hindu, or a Buddhist, or a New Ager? I have to speak it, because it is true! God and man are one. This is all through the Scripture, but let’s look at just a few verses (these are all very familiar verses, but again, we have not had revelation on just basic, Scriptural, practical things). In John 15:5, Jesus said, "I am the vine, ye are the branches." Picture that in your mind. Look at a vine that has branches. Are the branches and the vine two separate entities? I don't think so; they are one. Now that does not make the branch the vine, but it is a part of it, and the same life flows through both the vine and the branches. That is why I say over and over again that I believe with all my heart that I and my Father are one. But I am not my Father. I'm not God! However, I inherited God traits from my Father, just as I inherited natural traits from my natural father, and I am a human because I have a human life. If indeed Jesus lives in me -- and as the Apostle Peter and others have told us in the New Testament, the Divine life and nature of God are in me -- then how could I not be one with God?

But if New Age people are proclaiming the truth, if a Buddhist monk is speaking some truth, then do I not speak that truth because somebody will think that I am a monk, or a Hindu, or a Buddhist, or a New Ager? I have to speak it, because it is true! God and man are one.

The problem is that we identify with the human side, because we are in that fallen, darkened state, having our eyes darkened, being alienated from the life of God that is in us. That is the only problem. Jesus said we must be born again, because there is a natural birth and there is a spiritual birth. And as the natural birth is earthy, the tendency of that natural birth is to always be dragging you downward back into the earth. But he that is born of the Spirit is spirit, which means that that part of you which is regenerated and born again is the spirit in you, and the spirit is always ascending and rising above. This is where the conflict comes in! The natural human life is always drawing down toward the earth, trying to pull you down, but your spirit always wants to ascend. Another thing we haven't understood is that when you are born again you are as a little baby. I don't care if you are a hundred years old when you are born again, it is a spiritual birth just like a natural birth. But we take spiritual babies and we try to make them act like Father God! And they are just babies. Babies need only a few things: They need to be fed and properly taken care of. You cannot teach a baby about tithing, but you can feed him, and if you feed him properly, if you nourish your children properly, they may never understand the principle of tithing, but they will be givers -- oh they will be givers! "And now I am no more in the world, but these are in the world, and I come to thee. Holy Father, keep through thine own name those whom thou hast given me, that they may be one, as we are" (John 17:11). How are Jesus and the Father one? The Apostle Paul tells us that the fullness of God, the fullness of everything that God is, dwelt in bodily form in the Man Jesus. Then Jesus has the audacity to pray, "Father, just as we are one, they are one." You see, if you have this revelation, your problems are over, but the biggest tool of the enemy today in Christian circles is fear; because, brethren, in the last days there are seducing spirits and doctrines of devils. If you are in that church system today and you are entrenched in that system, you have already been seduced -- terribly seduced -- and you don't even know it. The deception and seducing came in even before the Apostles died. "Neither pray I for these alone, but for them also which shall believe on me through their word; That they all may be one; as thou, Father, art in me, and I in thee [Note that it is the same way!] that they also may be one in us: that the world may believe that thou hast sent me" Now we can't believe these words, because we look with our eyes at what's out there in the system of Christianity. There is no oneness! You may say, "Brother, I'm not in darkness," but are you a Baptist, and are you entrenched in the Baptist tradition? Are you a Lutheran, entrenched in the Lutheran tradition? Are you a Pentecostal, entrenched in that religious tradition? Then you are in darkness!

-the biggest tool of the enemy today in Christian circles is fear; because, brethren, in the last days there are seducing spirits and doctrines of devils. If you are in that church system today and you are entrenched in that system, you have already been seduced -- terribly seduced -- and you don't even know it.

What is being produced in the religious system is for the most part a sham. There is a teaching in the system that sounds so humble. I was taught as a young Christian, "Brother, be careful, be very careful. Don't you ever touch the glory of the Lord. Don't you touch that." And one day I read, "The glory which you gave Me, I have given to them, that they may be one" (John 17:22). What is the glory? Most people don't know what it is. The glory of God is the expression of God. Wherever God is expressed, there is His glory. He said, "I have given to them My glory," and the same Spirit that was in the Lord Jesus is now in you and me! But because of the blindness over our spiritual eyes we don't know it. Oh, we are taught it, but we don't know it. Our preachers wouldn't even want us really to understand it, because if we did, most of them would be out of a job! Do you know what my job is as a minister? If I am a leader, my main function should be to teach you and raise you up in your awareness and abilities of God so that you no longer need my services, and I can go do it elsewhere. Where are the anointed men and women of God who are able to minister not by the letter but by the Spirit of the Living God, to write upon your heart and cause you to rise up and minister to one another? Most of God’s people have never had a proper vision of the Church. All we have seen is Mystery, Babylon the great, the Mother of harlots! You may say, "But Brother, there are precious, precious saints out there!" Yes, there are, and it says in Revelation 17 that Mystery, Babylon, that Mother of harlots, is decked with gold and silver and precious stones, which simply means that those are the characteristics of God. Gold is the Divine life and nature; silver is the redemption; precious stones means the transforming power of God. Yes, there are precious saints out there, but they have never had anyone to bring them out of the darkness and bring them into full liberty and liberation in the power of the Spirit. We haven't had many men in this age and generation to raise up the saints of God to minister to one another. A word of the Lord ministered by the Spirit will enter into your heart, and if you are hungry for God, it will nourish you and build you up.

If I am a leader, my main function should be to teach you and raise you up in your awareness and abilities of God so that you no longer need my services, and I can go do it elsewhere.

If, on the other hand, all you are receiving is head knowledge, you will think you are progressing, but your life will not change. Paul said to the Corinthians, "Forasmuch as ye are manifestly declared to be the epistle of Christ ministered by us, written not with ink, but with the Spirit of the living God; not in tables of stone, but in fleshy tables of the heart" (2 Corin. 3:3). When we ministered to the Church in Fall Creek Oregon, I used to tell people, "I don't care what your problem is; please come and be a part of us. If you will stay and let us minister to you your life will change. And no matter how long it takes, I will never condemn you. I will never come to you and say you cannot be a prostitute or gay. I will minister to you; I will pray for you; I will cry with you, and you will be delivered and you will be transformed by the Spirit of the Living God!" "Oh foolish Christians, who has bewitched you that you should not obey the truth, before whose eyes Jesus Christ has been evidently set forth crucified among you" (Galatians 3:1). Paul is saying, "Don't you realize that Jesus Christ has been set forth crucified among you? Don't you realize that there is absolutely nothing that you need to do?" Now someone may say, "Well, Brother, I preach Jesus Christ and Him crucified." My reply would be, "Yes, but along with that you bring all your rules and regulations, and your shoulds and your shouldn'ts. Jesus Christ crucified is the end of the message! There is not one thing that you can add to that to make it any better; that's the end of the message." Jesus Christ crucified, buried and resurrected, that is the Gospel, and that is what will change you and bring you life. "This only would I learn of you: did you receive the spirit by the works of the law or by the hearing of faith? Are you so foolish? Having begun in the spirit, are you now made perfect by the flesh?" (Galatians 3:2-3). Have you suffered so many things? Have you suffered for so long in this bondage? Has it all been in vain? "He that ministers to you the spirit and works miracles among you, does he do it by the works of the Law or by the hearing of faith?" (Galatians 3:4). Listen. If I had to minister to you because of meeting the standard of the law, I wouldn't have a chance! If the qualification to minister is to be one who is fully transformed and in the likeness of God, I fail miserably. That is not it. It is because I have seen something of God, and because I have seen something of God, I have had that contact with the Spirit of the Living God that has energized me and brought some transformation in my life. That's what qualifies me to minister! It's not the result of going to a Bible school. William Law said many years ago that Christianity runs the Bible schools, thinking that they can put off Adam and put on Christ. That's not what happens in a Bible school.

Now someone may say, "Well, Brother, I preach Jesus Christ and Him crucified." My reply would be, "Yes, but along with that you bring all your rules and regulations, and your shoulds and your shouldn'ts. Jesus Christ crucified is the end of the message!

You go into a Bible school full of the Spirit of God, and may come out systematized. You'll be taught how to teach people to do everything but contact God, because most teachers don't know how to do that themselves. You will know how to do everything just as you should do it, but you won't know how to contact God in reality and in spirit

To be continued

Evangelism or Worship by Daniel Kolenda, Ole's Testimony,My angle

Someone once posed the question to me :"Which is greater: Evangelism or Worship?"
They believed that worship was greater because through evangelism we minister to one another, but through worship we minister to God. As a former worship pastor I have thought about this a lot.

Before Rebekah and I got married, we went down our local department store and spent several hours meticulously going through it picking out exactly the things that we needed for our new life together. When we sent out wedding invitations we were careful to include the web address where the gift registry (which listed the exact items) could be found. But when the wedding was over and the presents were unwrapped we found amongst all of the very thoughtful and wonderful gifts almost nothing that we asked for.

I wonder if some people walked around the shopping centre in circles for hours deliberating over which gift to buy before they finally settled on the toilet brush or our 10th mismatched towel set, when all the while we'd made it so easy for people to know exactly what we wanted.
What can you give someone who has everything..?
We all say that we love to worship God and we prove it by singing and dancing for Joy in church. We bring 'gifts' of beautiful music, singing and dancing with which we 'bless' Him. But He is surrounded by mighty choirs of angels singing songs that reverberate with harmonies so beautiful they are beyond anything we could imagine. So what can you give someone who has everything?
I have often said that the true depth of Christian's spirituality is not determined by how enthusiastically they dance during the worship service or how loudly they sing. As much as I choirs and hymns as well). All of these things are but tools we use in an attempt to provoke worship. Unfortunately, often they are more of a distraction than anything and if you could escape their clatter for a moment and truly become intimate enough with God to draw near and lay your head on his chest and hear his heartbeat, this is what it would sound like:
SAL-VA-TION,
SAL-VA-TION,
SAL-VA-TION!
God loves the world SO MUCH that He gave His only begotten Son. Could there be a more ardent exclamation of God's deepest desire? There is no mystery here... God has told us exactly what He wants.
Inseparable partnership
It is IMPOSSIBLE to be a true worshipper of God and not desire to please His heart... Therefore I say it is also IMPOSSIBLE to be a true worshipper of God an not have a worship cannot be separated from one another. Evangelism IS a form of worship because through it we give to God that which He desires and has explicitly demanded and don't forget that obedience is better than sacrifice.
An act of worship
John Leonard Dober was a potter and David Nitschman was a carpenter. Both were powerful and articulate preachers and the first of Count Zinsendorf's Moravian missionary movement. They heard about a godless, wealthy, British landowner who had purchased an Island to which he transferred all of his slaves in order to keep them from being touched by any outside influence... most especially religion. He had determined that even if an outsider were to arrive at his Island by accident, he would be sent away immediately. These two young Men, determined to win the Island for Christ, sold themselves into slavery to this landowner and used the profit to pay for their transportation to the island.

On October 8th 1732, friends and family members were gathered there at the seashore weeping and saying their final goodbyes and as the Island-bound sea vessel was pulling away from the docks. The account says that the two young men raised their hands to Heaven and shouted the last words that were ever heard from them: "May the Lamb that was slain receive the reward of His suffering!" That became the rallying call of Moravian missions... And that my friend, is WORSHIP!
In conclusion
Let me leave you with this question: If we know that God has asked for something which He passionately desires, yet in its place we bring something that WE WANT to bring... I ask you... Who is really being worshipped?

Daniel Kolenda

Christ For All Nations

http://www.cfan.org.uk/

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Testimony – International Grace Party 27.08.10
Posted on August 27, 2010 by Ole Henrik Skjelstad
I was religiously inclined already as a kid.

I prayed the Lord’s prayer every evening, but more like a superstitious act than anything else. Nothing evil would befall me if I mitigated God by my religious act, I believed.

At high school I began to consider myself as an intellectual, and in this realm of knowledge there didn’t exist any God. I became an agnostic.

My encounters with other Christians had rendered be with a profound disdain for Christendom and I was convinced that their view of God was more than skewed. To a certain degree I patronized Christians thinking of them as weaklings who needed a spiritual crutch.

After I had finished my education as an engineer, I was about 24-25, I began to show an interest in alternative medicine, notably acupuncture and reflexology. Reflexology is a system where we manipulate the foot sole thinking that each particular zone corresponds with a body part.

The books on alternative medicine more than alluded to spiritual realities. That aroused my curiosity and I began reading New Age literature in earnest. I read thousands upon thousands of pages and my worldview altered accordingly.

After a while I somehow developed warm hands and was endowed with healing powers. People could feel how the heat from my hands expelled pain and brought relief.

I believed in Karma and reincarnation. It didn’t make any sense that we had only one life in order to reach perfection and ultimately nirvana where we melted into and became one with the light, or whatever we called the impersonal thing we considered as God.

Everything centered on finding the light which was hidden in every man and which had the power to transform us to better persons and not at least persons who knew the hidden knowledge. New Age is briefly told a mixture of Gnosticism, Hinduism, Buddhism etc. The New Age system is based on self effort. Do the right things and you will evolve. In many ways it was a tedious and confusing time. Confusing because there were so many different ways you could follow in order to nourish your inner light, this hidden nucleus which is in every man and which has escaped our attention due to amongst other things the oppressing influence from Christendom.

In New Age circles Jesus is perceived as an important prophet, as a part of a succession of prophets who will lead mankind to increasingly higher levels of knowledge and evolvement. Love is a keyword in New Age. Those involved in the movement have a genuine desire to see the world become a better place for all to live. However, one of the fruits in my life was a hate towards everything that reeked of Christendom.

In 1992 God began to call my name, and through a process which lasted through the spring and the first part of the summer He disclosed everything I believed in as falsehood. The last stronghold that fell was reincarnation, and I was free. God placed me in a Pentecostal church. That is quite a joke because when I was a part of the New Age thinking I considered the Pentecostals as lunatics.

However, it was people from a Pentecostal church He sent in my direction, who began praying for me and who very kindly and patiently repeatedly invited me to their meeting.

Politely, but firmly I declined their proposals until God, who is a smart guy, saw to that I fell in love with one of the unmarried girls. God has His methods. The first event I attended was a concert.

Nothing scary about that. I even to a certain degree enjoyed the fellowship even though they seemed to have a blind spot concerning the truth which of course I at that time believed I represented. The next event was a regular meeting and for the first time in my life I faced the Holy Spirit in a tangible way. To tell the truth; the New Age books didn’t mention Him at all. So, here I was facing a new and very convincing divine power. It became clear to me that there exist two powers in this world. Which one to choose? In reality I didn’t have any real choice. God can be very convincing!

During my time as a New Age adherent I often suffered from anxiety and fear. Those emotions and feelings slowly abated after I had received Jesus.

I gave everything from the outset determined to become a very good Christian who pleased God in every possible way. As you all well know I failed miserably. Condemnation and misery were faithful fellows the first 12 years of my Christian walk. With a steady hand the Spirit led me towards a major breakdown.

I read the Bible almost every day, I prayed even though that was a tedious discipline. There was even a time when I thought I was called to be a great prayer warrior. Yeah right! I am not wired that way at all, but of course I pursued everything that I believed would please God and bring about a change in this world.

Soon after I had been saved I began speaking in tongues. After a few years I began speaking in tongues during meetings, messages which others interpreted. Often beautiful and life-giving messages. Then the Spirit challenged me to give the congregation prophetic words and messages. I was often stunned by the beauty I was given to convey. Many of the prophetic words were to unknown persons in the congregation and years later they would come to me and tell me how what I had uttered had come to pass. Of course this both humbled me and at the same time inflated my ego.

All those years I continued to be an avid reader. However, all those books just lay heavy burdens on my already tired shoulders. In retrospect I acknowledge they were important in order to break this proud and religious man.

In 2003 I came to an abrupt end of myself. I entered a profound depression. I was home a year before I was offered further education by the authorities. During that time God healed some deep wounds, but most importantly He introduced me to the pure grace message.

In July in 2004 Joseph Prince from New Creation Church in Singapore visited Oslo Christian Center. I was there. I had never before heard anyone expound on the gospel like he did. He proved without a shadow of doubt that we are set free from the law and that God is satisfied with us, more than that: that he loves us more than words can express. I remember how an almost audible sigh of relief went through the congregation while he spoke. I left the premises with tears in my eyes. This was what my soul had yearned for, freedom.

The next year Steve McVey came to Oslo. I didn’t know much about him except that he also preached pure grace, and I was so thirsty for more. I went to hear him. Every word he uttered was balm for my soul. I bought both his and Prince’s books and immersed myself in their teachings.

Of course I wasn’t immediately set free from condemnation and this often occurring sensation of failing. However, slowly but surely God convinced me about my right standing with him. The intriguing thing is that the more I understood of grace the more graceful I became. My new heart blossomed under this new influence and I became softer and more loving in many ways.

There were periods were it seemed like I had gone from being a religious legalist to a religious grace champion. Of course I experienced the frustrations of meeting a pastor and a leadership who didn’t understand my new revelations and my attempts to turn them onto the new and liberating path. I fought with anger, rejection and a host of other feelings during this time.

I thought God had given me the gift to teach the word, and I often during the evenings in bed preached the most wonderful sermons in my head, but every door was closed. I had to find an outlet for everything that was dammed up inside of me. Thus, in November 2008 I started my first blog. I wrote exclusively in Norwegian. I didn’t get much response, but I continued to write. I really enjoyed penning down the new things I was given to see.

Then I discovered that also Steve McVey had a blog and I began commenting on his articles and after a while I gathered enough fortitude to ask for his permission to translate some of his articles. Without knowing me particularly well he gave his consent.

I had felt so lonely during those years after I first had heard Joseph Prince so it was such a blessing and a relief to join forces with Steve.

For quite a time my wife had encouraged me to join Facebook, something which I had adamantly refused to do for several years. I thought such a social medium was for girls. However, in April 2009 I gave in for the pressure and set up my Facebook account, and l must admit I loved it from the outset.

In May I discovered that even Steve had a Facebook account. It took me couple of weeks before I ventured to send him a friendship request. Graciously he accepted it. Then I got friendship requests from Joel Brueseke, Jessica Robertson, Dave Lesniak and others and suddenly I was moving in a completely different sphere where there were a lot of people who spoke my language. More than that; I was in an environment which language was love. I have learned more about who I am in Christ on Facebook than 17 years in church.

Through Facebook I had entered a new world and in the course of a rather short time I had more English speaking friends than Norwegians. Amongst them was Fred Pruitt. Somehow he had learned about me and he embraced me with his love and profound understanding of who we are in Christ.

In a mighty and beautiful way God used him to take me to the next level, union life, that is, we are joined one spirit with the lord. Some of Paul Anderson Walsh’ articles had already given me a foretaste of this new dimension which the Spirit with great joy pulled me into. Fred became my mentor and teacher, which he still is. With great wisdom and patience he mitigated what I would call my grace legalistic streaks. DeeDee Winter and Nancy Gilmore have also been important contributors in helping me getting a better grasp of who I am in Christ. There are a host of others who through their love and encouragements have given me the necessary confidence to continue to write. Thanks to you all!

Out of the blue in July the same year as I joined Facebook I received a mail from Linda Bunting who invited me to the reunion in Louisville. I had two issues at hand. Who is Linda Bunting, and where is Louisville? I sent Steve a mail asking if he knew who these people were. He assured me that they were a fine bunch of people. To make a long story short I went Louisville last fall and experienced a genuine love feast.

In July last year my first notes in English appeared on Facebook. Encouraged by the response and pushed by an inner drive I couldn’t stop writing. Then in January a new idea came to me. Why not start a new blog using wordpress and write exclusively in English? I began posting in earnest in March and I am glad and thrilled that the blog has been well visited.

Last fall Dave Lesniak and some friends made sure that I got a Magic Jack which empowered me to regularly stay in touch with my American friends on the phone. That has been a huge blessing.

Those of you who have read my blog have witnessed how the Spirit has pushed me further and further into the mystery; Christ in us. To have a profound understanding of how we are a part of God, sons of God, has given me the peace which I once upon a time thought was an unattainable blessing.

So here I am having peace with myself and God.

Thanks for your time!
========================
My Angle
Why do I juxtapose these two valid pieces of writing?
Because I believe in evangelism.
Because I believe in worship.
Because I believe the Christian life is actually Union Life....whether people fully know that yet or not.

The sort of gospel Rheinhardt Bonnke and Daniel Kolenda proclaim is not quite Union Christianity. It's close. How many of us can remember the first reports coming back from Africa about how Rheinhardt was proclaiming salvation and baptism in the Spirit in one humongous package? How many jaws dropped like mine? Is such a thing possible?
But as far as people DO get in a Bonnke crusade in a few hours, they don't generally get beyond a Jesus out there , who somehow comes into my heart by His Spirit. He puts my life back the right
way up....but I still walk around with the stupid concept that
"I" am basically in control
that I am basically a god who makes his /her own way in life with the new help of an outside power who I converse with, be it the Holy Spirit or Jesus.

I do not realise that I am no more.
I do not realise that never for one minute was I an alone -I wandering around this universe. That that concept alone is total baloney. That before I asked Jesus into my life, I was a container
for an alien life form that is transferred in Adam's line from generation to generation.I was empowered by the Devil....but in a way that absolutely requires the Holy Spirit to even know the difference.
Rheinhard does not explain that we are purely containers, and that if Jesus is coming in, the devil is going to be booted out . Light cannot co exist with darkness.
It's quite a deliverance that takes place at conversion.....more much more....than most evangelists will tell you. For this reason such a war takes place on the frontline between Christians who are trying to share the gospel, and the world, who Ephesians says, is a system of submitted intelligences blinded by the god of this world.

Up until this generation, if Christians went as far as receiving the Holy Spirit in power as Ole has mentioned, and that I also testify to....it is typically DECADES.....IF AT ALL.... that Christians actually get to learn about UNION. For sceptics, can I say UNION is simply the type of Christianity Jesus was always aiming for in his disciples....and the proof is a simple reading of the chapters concerning His last discourse to them before He went to the Cross see John Chapters 13-17.

Where it DOES RELATE to Daniel's writing is in this way.
UNION LIFE is bigger than worship (as commonly understood).Or let's turn that the other way round. REAL WORSHIP is Union Life.
Union Life or in Norman Grubb's terminology : The Third or Mature Level is precisely about a level of intercession which is total. So it is no surprise that 2 Moravians literally sell themselves into slavery in order to gain the right to share in that enclosed slavery island community.

Don't worry....you don't get to sign your own commission....to emulate the Moravians. Once you "get" the Freedom that the Spirit Life is.....and no....I don't mean meetings....
I mean YOUR LIFE
YOUR WHOLE LIFE.
Once you understand who it is who is living your Life...namely Jesus Himself...through your unique personality, through your body....your commissioning will be every bit as riveting and demanding...but it's nolonger viewed in terms of courageous demand, because it is the Fire of God in your belly busting out in new ways to transfer this Kingdom leaven.

Two final things to relate to Daniel's writing above.
Like Holy Spirit anything....evangelism is a spirit. One place you catch this disease is off Evangelists. Evangelist is a ministry of the Holy Spirit whose purpose it says in Ephesians is to build up the Body of Christ TO DO MINISTRY.

When I was invited to a Holy Spirit teaching day in 1972...
It wasn't a man's idea.
The thing came about through 2 individuals having the same dream....a teaching day for young people. But it wasn't Baptism in the Spirit ...period.
It was a day of training on evangelism and the Holy Spirit.
OK, the evangelism was according to our light in 1972....but we got trained in receiving the baptism in the Spirit in the afternoon of the same day IN THAT CONTEXT.
This was the same in Lakeland Florida in the Outpouring two years ago.
On that day. In that context. I received, yes, some rather (now) limited and dodgy teaching on what evangelism was.....but I can discard some of that...
NO ON THAT DAY I received something of much greater value.
I received THE SPIRIT of EVANGELISM, which is like a burning fire in your belly. When you talk to people, a bit of that fire wants to transfer into other bellies. And if people don't want that,
then they might react or not....but either way....they've touched some of God's heart for them...and not just received dry intellectual suggestions that maybe
in a fair wind,
when they're not so busy,
when the moon's in the right position,
if it doesn't get in the way of the One Show,
or their children watching Cbeebies,
they might like to contemplate
a few religious thoughts to help them through the difficult times
as quoted from Patience Strong or something....

NO. If you have the spirit of evangelism
you can simply say with authority
Well, do you want it....or not?
Do you like what's on me?...well you can have some.
Jesus is Lord. He doesn't ask to be your boyfriend, your fratpal
He's saying right now...
"Can I bust into your life and change your life completely while
you are feeling the Shadow of My Presence upon my servant.
Take Me or leave me...but I only come as Lord. Not plaything."
Without the spirit of evangelism...you can only humanly suggest and nudge.

The second thing is about worship.
It's not that worship is irrelevant in Union. It's that the whole concept of worship broadens right out.
a. You so respond to God's heartbeat that you do what He is doing in you next. As both Daniel and Morris Cerullo say...God's heartbeat is souls. But when humans say that phrase it sounds like "scalps". When God says that phrase...it's with tears...like a longlost Lover
who wants His Bride back
No you didn't hear me. You heard "God wants His church back."
No God's heart is for His real church.
The people who are still "NOT BACK HOME", not saved. The Ones still out there, not the 99 in the fold.
b. Then we turn this subject round and say
Once we are prepared to do anything He asks, including having more souls on each of our arms,
we go back to our first understanding of Worship....as a limited activity...alongside other believers....
BUT This time it's purer
beautiful
awesome
like a piano recital given by a Jewish escapee from a Nazi concentration camp.
It's beautiful from the inside out.
Psalm 45:13-17 NASV
13The King's daughter is all glorious within;
Her clothing is interwoven with gold.
14She will be led to the King in embroidered work;
The virgins, her companions who follow her,
Will be brought to You.
15They will be led forth with gladness and rejoicing;
They will enter into the King's palace.
16In place of your fathers will be your sons;
You shall make them princes in all the earth.
17I will cause Your name to be remembered in all generations;
Therefore the peoples will give You thanks forever and ever.
+++++++++++++++++

You see, it's never happened before in the history of man. First in the natural. Now in the Spirit.

Verse 16 says - In place of your fathers shall be your sons. This was alluded to in the day of Pentecost. It used to be an immutable law that the wisdom of the old governed a nation. But in the Spirit....He is crashing young broken men through at a rate of knots...

that the revelation stamping and giving identity to communities is starting to come from the young men instead.

How can such a thing be safe? Union Life is safe. It's not perfection as left-brain carnal thinking measures perfection. But it is a life quality that we kind of aspired to in the charismatic movement...but because of "separation thinking" we just ....well we weren't safe. But now we can trust that life in us and each other....and also trust the external life around us to show us....

the correct way forward.

The other thing that has come through this week, through Cindi Estep and her sister Leslie Lawson and again in clear testimony by Ole,

that God is using blogs and Facebook in unprecedented ways to build His international Body!

yes I am Link fault corrected

For anyone accessing Yes I am by Norman Grubb in the links section, the faulty page settings have now been corrected. Thanks to those at union life.