Faith and Desire – An Exchange between Nancy Gilmore and Ole – Part 1
PART 1
Ole Henrik: When I no longer have the drive to say
my faith word, but the desire is just as powerful that means that which
was meant to be created is created?
Nancy: No, here’s why I say, no. Desire is where
faith is located. Faith starts in desire. Jesus said; have the faith of
God, whatsoever You desire. But that desire is trapped and can’t get out
because of the 2 and 3rd principle in the 7 fold spirit of God; it has
to have its way to express; faith IS substance and desires to be
expressed; Jesus said, believe you have received and, SAY so and
whatsoever YOU SAY ‘will come to pass’. It is in the 4 principle which
is the “cross in the heart of God” to ever being a self-loving-self.
God desires to be A Self-Giving-Self; the Father DESIRES to be the Son,
to give Himself as the Son of God. The OBEDIENT SON-THE WORD gives
Himself to be the Father’s desire. [The WORD said, let there be light,
and there was light.] The Word became flesh, and dwelt among us: Jesus!
The WORD (Jesus) becoming flesh IS the manifesting “faith of God” AS
the Son, (in the sons of God). The 5, 6th & 7th spirit of the 7 fold
spirit of God is: ”I hear” – “I see” - “I say” – Faith is spirit;
FAITH SPEAKS!
I have found at times that desire in us is so deep we don’t know what
to say. I have had the Lord ask me if I wouldn’t like to see “this or
that” happen… and of course that’s WHAT I want to see happen and so it
is then I am able to SAY what God is going to do….. and I go tell that
thing to someone who knows it is the word of God that I am speaking. . .
and what it was that the Lord, asks me, and I say, comes to pass.
You see, the 7Fold Spirit of God is the way God works in us. He is
our DESIRE (faith starts in desire, this is the tip of the cone, and the
1st. spirit in the working of the 7Fold Spirit of God, in us. Our
desire wants to express itself and reaches outward for expression, but
it is trapped and cannot get out so it snaps back with great resistance
and creates this rotating vortex of impossibility; this is the 2nd and 3
spirits in the 7fold Spirit of God! This is God in all beings trapped
in us, as us; And Only by the Cross of Christ, which is the 4th spirit
working in us comes our freedom, and identity of what it is to be a
person; A person is a person containing A PERSON, Christ! This is our
awakening in Christ whereby we are ‘hearers’, we are hearing Christ!
This is the 5th spirit in the 7Fold Spirit of God. The scales come off
our eyes and we become ‘seers’; we start seeing Christ Only in us as us!
This is the 6th spirit in the 7Fold Spirit of the working of God in us.
This Faith that starts in Desire, which was entrapped, NOW Speaks! This
is the 7th spirit in the 7Fold spirit of God. We are “saying” who we
are! We are saying, we are Christ in our form. This 7Fold Spirit of God
doesn’t work 1,2,3,4,5,6,7 as in that order, but is He working all the
time in us, as us. “It is God who is at work in you both to will and to
do of His Good Pleasure”…
Ole Henrik: Wow! This is simply stunning! So many
things fell into place as I read your account! Wow! Let me give you some
more details concerning this faith journey I am in the midst of now and
have been for quite a while. It all started out with a powerful desire
and my first question was: “Is this from God?” Not least because of the
impossibility of it all and that what I desired went against all human
reasoning. The next step was that I began praying for this desire to
come into existence. A “Papa, make this happen” prayer. Then I meet you
in Louisville and you told me about your faith word: “I am in
Louisville!” In that instant it felt like something shifted in me and I
was taken a step further and I began to say something to this effect:
“Papa, thanks that this is a reality” A couple of days ago I was emptied
like Job was and the next day filled again. The amazing thing is that I
now have had several experiences of that I KNOW that my faith word will
happen and I can say to those involved: “You know what? This will
happen! I don’t know how or when, but it will happen.” And I know
against all appearances to the opposite. Thus there is no drive to say
my faith word ” Papa, thanks that this is a reality” because now I know.
Any comments to my history? I am afraid I cannot give you any further
details. And as you say, a side-effect of this journey, as it were, is
that I also now know that I am Christ in my form on a level never before
experienced!
Nancy: I haven’t been to bed yet, (again), and am
just sitting here half-asleep like a zombie; nearly 4:30 AM. Must have
been waiting on this from you!
All I know in reply “to any comments to my history?” There must have
been a hell of a lot of suffering in “regarding specifics” personally to
you in an agony of faith to produce this summit of faith; by which The
Spirit confirms in us this co-speaking-inner-knowing-union-faith-person
of authority! Seems to me sharing in the sufferings of Christ becomes
the great safe-guard in the testing of our faith which we come to, and
come through to find God’s faith in us, as ours. The Spirit responds to
this faith expressed with His own inner-Christ-Consciousness, as ours.
He is the Faith Summit. ALSO; we live on the ‘done’ level! This or
that IS done. We may start out by saying God will do this or that for
the benefit of others who stand by to watch and see, but for us we have
it! It’s DONE! We’ve got it by FAITH. Faith IS the Substance of the
thing. This substance of faith is the real deal. My Great-Grandmother
used to say to me: “Mark my word” on whatever she was saying that she
saw as her reality of faith. Also: REASONING goes to the cross, when it
comes to faith. We don’t reason out things, we FAITH them out. We don’t
reason up to Spirit-faith, we LEAP reasoning. Reasoning belongs to
soul. Faith is Spirit. We can only reason-down from Spirit, not up to
Spirit.
So tell me more whenever you are free to do so. . . always love hearing radical faith.
Ole Henrik: Thanks again for confirming me beyond
measure. I am eternal grateful that I freely can bask in your wisdom!
Yes, Nancy, the suffering has been tremendous. There have been days I
have made it through by the skin of my teeth (not sure if this is good
English). Thanks again and may you get a good “night’s” sleep!
Faith and Desire – An Exchange between Nancy Gilmore and Ole – Part 2
PART 2
Ole Henrik: This exchange has blessed me so much!!! I
have read your mails at least four times! The fruit is that I have gone
totally “crazy” and say that It Is Done when everything cries that I am
totally nuts.
Ole Henrik: Faith is trusting that we in fact hear
the shepherd’s voice calling us to step out of the boat and walk on
water which absolutely is scary business.
Nancy: You are giving God His Platform to Show up.
Norman would say, “He just pops-up!” I love such radical faith! I’ll
have to tell you what Norman said, after being a missionary and finding
some uncertainty in his own faith; Norman said; “Well if God is a Big
Illusion, I’ll be a little illusion right along with Him.” I think
Norman had just come through his dark night of the soul. But in the end
he made his decision. That’s what this life in Christ is; making faith
decisions. Abraham caught on to this ‘way’ of God. Abraham said, God
called the things that be NOT even as though they were. So Abraham did
the same! He was a copy-cat, and Abraham is called the father of our
FAITH. Actually, God showed Abraham His WAYS, before Abraham ever saw
His ACTS, (ISAAC!)! I think this is what God usually does, as a form of
maturing us. He teaches us His WAYS. Norman used to say we have to be a
‘way-knower’ in order to be a “way-shower”. This is what fatherhood is
all about. . . being a “way-knower”. This way we make things happen for
others. We become an Elijah. Elijah said it would not rain for 3-1/2
years and it DIDN’T rain! And at the end of that 3-1/2 years he was
watching for a cloud. He even set a date! We are radical lovers of
God, and He has his own purpose in each of our lives, and in the end
it’s always for others. This is the power of His resurrection in us, and
Spirit attitude comes before Spirit action. We truly become God
Watchers. We have our focus on Him. Sometimes the more impossible the
situation we express the most radical faith. Who would believe it, but
God says, we prove Him. And we do! God gave me that challenge many
years ago, and I hold it over His head with; YOU SAID, I would prove
you. Get on with it Lord. As serious as faith is faith can be fun,
because it’s our adventure of faith with Christ.
Nancy: Peter “felt” that way! But faith reigned in
Christ and pulled Peter UP to walk with Him on the water. Faith is
always directed “toward” Christ. He is the OBJECT of our faith.
Norman once said something like this: “Fear” is faith in reverse, and
once that fear is recognized as faith in reverse; “that faith” can be
turned toward God, and be going the right way.
Ole Henrik: Do you mind elaborating what you mean here (didn’t quite get it I am afraid):
“Who would believe it, but God says, we prove Him. And we do! God gave
me that challenge many years ago, and I hold it over His head with; YOU
SAID, I would prove you. Get on with it Lord. As serious as faith is
faith can be fun, because it’s our adventure of faith with Christ.”
Nancy: Well, how do I say, I’ve always lived by the
promises of God. That is… since I found there are such things as the
PROMISES of God. Things I believed the Lord was saying to me. I was
always asking Him something about something. And at the beginning I
restricted the Lord to ONLY speaking to me though the scriptures since I
was convinced the Bible was the Word of God, and His HOLY book.
At THAT time, (to me), the scriptures were the only way God spoke so I
never let the bible be far from my side. In fact all through the day I
would have my bible open and laying on the right side of the stove in an
area handy for me in the kitchen, so I could visit all day with the
Lord and He could answer all my questions through His own word. I never
considered myself intellectual. In fact I never liked reading because it
was boring to me! UNTIL I found the scriptures to be the Word of God,
and then I was like a sponge. I couldn’t get enough; I wanted to learn
of the Lord. I wanted to “know how” to believe, and I wanted to know
“what” to believe.
As I became involved with “Christians” (believers), I found they all
had their own way of TEACHING what they said the scriptures were saying,
and I believed them until I would read the scriptures on my own, and it
was always saying something to me that was different than what they
were saying it said. And who was I to know differently than they? But I
had an insatiable hunger to know the Lord, and I expected Him to speak
to me, directly, and to teach me everything I was to know. Apparently, I
had this underlying fear of uncertainty without the Lord’s conformation
in EVERYTHING I had questions about.
To make this LONG story short, when I had a question “I expected” the Lord to give me an answer.
Everyone taught tithing so of course that was the THING TO DO! Until
one day I was reading in Malachi and it was saying to bring the “full
tithe” into the storehouse that there would be food enough to feed all,
and that I could put the Lord to the test, and PROVE Him; and that He
would rebuke the devour for my sake. Not only that but He would open the
windows of Heaven and pour me out a blessing that I couldn’t live long
enough to receive it all.
[10Bring ye all the tithes into the storehouse, that there may be
meat in mine house, and prove me now herewith, saith the LORD of hosts,
if I will not open you the windows of heaven, and pour you out a
blessing, that there shall not be room enough to receive it. 11And I
will rebuke the devourer for your sakes, and he shall not destroy the
fruits of your ground; neither shall your vine cast her fruit before the
time in the field, saith the LORD of hosts. 12And all nations shall
call you blessed: for ye shall be a delightsome land, saith the LORD of
hosts.]
Well my first thought was; that’s not talking about money! That’s
talking about all of me! I’m the full tithe. God wants ALL of me; He
wants total trust; and for me to hold nothing back (from Him). And I can
put Him to the test and “prove” Him! And not only that He will REBUKE
the devourer! My response toward Him was: What A DEAL for me!
So from that point on all of my life has been about PROVING Him in
everything He ask of me, in one way or another. According to the date I
have in ‘this’ bible (all the other ones are warn out), There is a date
of 1965.
Faith and Desire – An Exchange between Nancy Gilmore and Ole – Part 3
PART 3
Ole Henrik: Thanks again Nancy for sharing from your
well of wisdom and long life with Him. Again I am thoroughly blessed,
not least by that Malachi revelation. Never heard anyone preach it like
this before and it said YES and AMEN in my spirit. Thanks!
So, when you went from only trusting that God would speak to you
through the Bible you also began trusting your desires as a way of God
speaking to you? And you further saw that desire and faith is the same
thing, right?
Another thing that hit me today is that I quite often during this
faith adventure have said things like: “Of course, I might be wrong”
after a powerful faith statement. But, Jesus never said something like
that. And He never says that if we are really humble we will say things
like that when we ask (desire) whatsoever from Him. That “Of course, I
might be wrong” is nothing less than unbelief and false humility.
Ole Henrik: I sat in my chair half-awake thinking
about desire. Then lightning struck! Since desire is the same as faith
our desire proves our faith and is our faith. No effort in that! Our
desire is the same as faith. In a sense desire is my faith and
effortlessly sustains my faith. I don’t have to work up desire. It just
is!
Jesus said in John 15: “If you remain in me and my words remain in
you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you.” The word ask
also means desire. Why will it be done for you? Because your desire is
your faith and faith is substance – the guarantee that something exist.
In this sense desire calls into being things that are not. And since we
abide in Him it is a desire that origins in Him. It is so important that
we do not suppress our desires. Another cool thing is that we speak out
our desires quite effortlessly without knowing we are speaking words of
faith. Grace upon grace.
Nancy: You’ve heard the old saying there are two sides to every story? Well, here’s the other side of the story.
All the time I was living as I explained, by “limiting” God to only
speaking to me through the scriptures. He was not limited, at all, in
speaking always within me, and to me by all different means. But the
point is He was the One doing the speaking and the revealing of Himself
by all these methods which I will now attempt to share. I think what I
learned from limiting God to only speaking through the scriptures was
His tricking me into learning to be a co-intercessor with Him. He was
showing me his ways’. . . – but all the time, He was also speaking to me
by revelation, and direct communication, and in a myriad of ways, as He
does today. You must understand that I followed no man. Any fellowship I
had with others who were in the “sharing” field was short lived as I
became the one who did the sharing with others.
I learned from the beginning, I was unable to live a godly life… by
whatever means… so from early-on I told The Lord; “Since You are God,
it’s high time You start being God in me.” And believe it or not, I
rested in that.
Now without writing a book to you with the progressive details I will
skip around, and hit on different things, and then if you have any
questions or need more explanation to be given, just ask me; because I
think these are the things that always need to be hammered out.
I settled the DESIRE dilemma before I knew the Lord (as Jesus Christ,
God in the flesh). I didn’t have any of the “teachings” that are given
today where the focus is on YOU. I never read other people’s books to
learn some gimmick to make me spiritual. When I did read someone else
writings it was for fellowship with the Lord.
Now as I share these things think of yourself in a grand auditorium,
sitting in the balcony and having the spotlight on different events in
my life played out in the theater’s grand seating area, and not on the
stage.
A bit of background:
When I was 6 years old, I was alone with my Great-grandfather in the
kitchen right here in this house where I live now. He was sitting in the
captain’s chair and I was standing beside him, visiting with him.. and
holding his hand….- and he died! And I couldn’t stop him from dying! And
believe it, or not… I learned my limitation then and there. From that
time on there was only one underlying real desire I had, and that was
not to be separated from the people I loved.
So by the time I was married and pregnant with Barry, I was after God
to find me! I mean, I already knew being married was not the union I
was looking for. . . and I knew I couldn’t keep anyone from dying. I
knew there was THE LORD, but I didn’t know Him. SO when I was 19 years
old and facing having a family that I would be responsible for. . .I
told the Lord: “If I knew where You were, I’d come looking for You. If I
thought you were under the bed, I’d get under the bed to find you; but
since I don’t know where You ARE… You’ll have to find me. Then I added:
I can stand anything in this life, as long as I know “beyond a shadow
of a doubt” I will spend ETERNITY with the people I love. That was
between 1954 (when I got married), and 1955 (before Barry was born in
July).
I didn’t go to church, I didn’t know anyone who believed like I did,
and I never watched religious programs on TV. But before Barry was born
I accidentally watched Billy Graham on TV. . . and he said if you want
to go to heaven you have to have Jesus in your heart. I didn’t hear
anything about sin or anything else. I just knew I wanted to go to
heaven and that I needed to invite Jesus to come and live in me. I
invited the Lord in, then and there, and everything changed; I began
praising The Lord for everything. Billy said read your bible and I
started in Genesis and read until I got to the “begat” . – then I
couldn’t pronounce the names and I quit reading my bible after the first
few chapters for nearly 5 or 6 years; But I continue to have this
fellowship with the Lord in Praising Him.
REMEMBER I’LL BE JUMPING THROUGH SOME YEARS HERE TO MAKE MY POINT AT THE END.
After Kelly was born we bought an old house to fix up and time was
swallowed up by work. God “seemed” to have left me… WELL NOT REALLY BUT I
COULDN’T GET THE SATISFACTION I HAD BEFORE WE MOVED.
I couldn’t find another human being who knew the Lord, like I did.
I nearly died giving birth to Kelly, and when I got pregnant with
Holly, I didn’t want to be pregnant!!! But the night she was conceived, I
heard the Lord say to me: “This is a love-gift!” That’s the first time I
truly knew I heard the Lord VOICE speaking to me! That was early in
1961. I was so stressed being pregnant I couldn’t think. I didn’t want
to die and leave my children. I couldn’t remember if I’d prayed or not;
I’d write my prayer down so I’d know I prayed THEM; and when I was about
7 or 8 months pregnant I had a dream that I had a baby girl, and she
had red-curly hair, and I didn’t have any pain delivering her. December
3, 1961 that’s exactly the way it happened.
While I was pregnant I was asked to join a bowling team with the
girls in my new neighborhood. Long story short, the only gal that wasn’t
from my neighborhood that I didn’t know until the first night of
bowling, became my first friend who desired to fellowship concerning the
Lord. We stayed up all night long on my front steps and talked about
The Lord. She said she knew someone that used to teach the bible and
would I be interested in going if she could find out if he was still
doing that. The next night we were at his bible class. . . AND I
couldn’t get enough of the bible from then on. He explained to me what
the Bible was and how it was divided up, and who was who, and how to
pronounce those difficult names. I loved him with all my heart but I
soon found he was a LAW and Grace man, and he didn’t think I was saved,
because I smoked and loved to dance. But I read my bible and
fellowshipped with the Lord constantly.
I started having bible classes in my home and began teaching also. By
1965 Kelly was 5 years old and he and Jake (my husband) were in a car
accident! Kelly went through the windshield and of course we didn’t know
if he would live or die. That night at the hospital all night long
whenever Kelly would regain a bit of consciousness and scream-out, I
would tell the Lord to put him back to sleep, and everything I said to
the Lord, came to pass. I had a bible with me and I was reading in 2nd
Corinthians chapter 1. . . and the Lord was speaking to me confirming to
me that I was sharing in his sufferings, and that He would be my
Comforter. The next day Kelly regain consciousness and didn’t remember
any of the pain he had experienced. He had 5 different doctors and one
of them was an oral surgeon. Kelly had a broken jaw! AND they were going
to take him to surgery the next day and wire his mouth together. As
the Lord would have it; the year before, I had been with one of my
friends at the hospital whose son had been in a fight and had his jaw
broken. His jaw was wired together; and a few weeks later his appendix
busted and he had to go to emergence surgery one night. When he came
back from surgery he was vomiting but couldn’t get his mouth open, and
was strangling on his vomit. I saw what that was like! So when I heard
Kelly was to have his jaw wired together I couldn’t wait to get alone
with the Lord to beg Him to intercede on behalf of Kelly. HEAL him or DO
SOMETHING! I couldn’t stand it.
So later that Monday night, (I had not left the hospital nor Kelly
since we arrived after the car accident, Sunday afternoon), but that
night I wanted to go to the Chapel to have it out with the Lord. As I
began to walk into the Chapel I began to profusely PRAISE the Lord. My
mind didn’t understand what my heart and mouth was doing. Here I had
gone to beg the Lord to intercede on Kelly’s behalf and here I was
rejoicing in Praise! Next: There was the Lord speaking to me out of a
Great Light, saying: “Nancy, Nancy don’t you know that I love you, and
that I love Kelly, and even if Kelly dies, he will be with me!” That
was January 11, 1965.
Well, the next 10 years was a high alone road with Christ as my life.
I was an authoritative bible teacher, having 2 and 3 bible classes a
week, and of course I was the one learning as the Lord continued
speaking to me and commissioning me as his co-intercessor in what He had
in mind.
Someone put a small booklet in my possession in 1967 called “Touching
The Invisible” . . . I went to the river alone and read it, didn’t
understand one word it was saying, but I was rapture in the Spirit the
entire time I was reading it. I hadn’t bothered to look to see who
wrote the book, but when I finished reading it, I said to the Lord; “I
don’t know one thing I just read, but I know one thing, I want to know
what this man knows. I don’t know that I ever read it again, but by 1975
the Lord had manifest an inner-Christ-consciousness in me and reveal
spirit-Spirit-union. I saw myself as if in a cave (a tomb), and the Lord
called me out of that cave to be joined to Himself. It WAS A HOLY
UNION! So Holy my outer soul and body wanted to separate from the Holy
Christ in union with this Nancy-spirit.
Now the bible classes were throwing me OUT! I was a heretic in their
view. One girl who told me she believed what I shared, but she no longer
wanted to be seen with me. But within a short time she called me, told
me she’d like me to come to lunch; she told me she had ask the Lord to
give her a 2nd conformation that what I was sharing about our union with
Christ was so. She handed me a book called “Who Am I” and said, The
Lord had awakened her in the night and caused her to watch the Pat
Robertson TV show and there was this man on his show, named Norman
Grubb, and he talked just like me… (haha!)… but at least that’s the way
she heard it. She gave me the book, told me Norman was going to be in
Chicago, IL and that she thought I should go meet him. The rest is
history!
SO…getting back to your questions: “So, when you went from only
trusting that God would speak to you through the Bible you also began
trusting your desires as a way of God speaking to you? And you further
saw that desire and faith is the same thing, right?”
2nd question, first: And you further saw that desire and faith is the
same thing, right?” I don’t THINK, I did. But you may from where you
are viewing your union with Christ from in the Spirit. I don’t separate
myself from Christ. Nor do I separate Him from me. Faith and desire is
the outworking of the Spirit’s union with me, and I rest in Him; not in
the faith; not in the desire. I rest IN Christ. I’m not examining my
desires, nor my faith as though I have them apart from Christ. We are
ONE. Whatever He has, I have, but He didn’t give me what He has, He gave
me Himself. Faith and desire is the outcome of our union. Before Christ
as us, faith and desire was the outcome of the false I. The Vine’s SAP
flows into and out of the BRANCH. It’s all Christ as us… and my identity
as a person is with Christ; my identity as a FORM of Christ is, Nancy.
1st question: ”So, when you went from only trusting that God would
speak to you through the Bible you also began trusting your desires as a
way of God speaking to you? I gave up trusting in myself back in those
early years. Once, I thought I needed to be a better mother, a better
wife, a better person all the way around; more kind, more sensitive,
more of everything. I named off a list of what I thought would please
the Lord and certainly make me look more godly in everyone’s sight.
When I finished my lists of desires and ask the Lord for them; He said
to me: “If I gave you those things you wouldn’t want ME. I never asked
again! I figured I had Him, and He was all I needed… all I am.
Personally, I think you ask yourself these questions, because you see
your self separated from Christ. You’re NOT separated from Him, but you
SEE separation. If you, by inner-recognition, “SAY” … Christ lives AS
me, (period!). You won’t have all this business trying to ‘figure’
things out. When I say it’s Christ AS me. . .there’s nothing left to
figure out. You are either going to say, I am Christ in my form, or
you’re going to have this wrestling match each time you “try” to figure
it out. I WILL say this: The final form of sin we are all FORCED to see
is our ‘self’ as a referee between God, the flesh and the devil (as to
who’s who). There is no such person as a referee/a middle man/ a
go-between “as you”. That’s Satan as you, and the FINAL FORM OF SIN WE
ARE ALL FORCED TO SEE.
I probably haven’t even touched on your real question, but this is
the way The Lord has driven me to share this time. You’re free to
dismiss it all and start over with your question for me.
Faith and Desire – An Exchange between Nancy Gilmore and Ole – Part 4
Part 4
Ole Henrik: Thanks for sharing your amazing
testimony with me! Your story is simply stunning! And you are right! I
have almost frenetically been examining my desires and faith, but in the
process I have also learned a lot about how these things work together
and how they work out in our lives. You are also right about that I have
seen separation and that has made me unsteady in all my ways lately. It
is certainly true that I also have been a referee trying to judge
between what is me and what is Christ when everything is Him. And this
is such a mystery! There is a “me” part that walk in unbelief and who
operate as a referee, but everything is Him. My analytic mind finds that
hard to reconcile. I guess there is only one thing to do; go back to
the basic and confess: Christ lives as me! Thanks for helping me putting
my feet on firm ground again trusting myself in all things no matter
how odd or unusual.
Nancy: I don’t want to be right, Ole Henrik. That’s
the last thing I want to project. I only wish to encourage you, not
discourage you. It’s out of our belly that flows rivers of living water,
and that means travail. We travail in faith.
You are Christ in your form.
If you would hold up your hand and look at it as though it is a total
you… there are two sides to your hand. Turn it anyway you want too…make
a fist or lay it out flat…there are still two sides to your hand. Yet
it is ONE hand. There is the top side, the foreground of your hand…
let’s say that’s you. You’re on top and in the foreground. But the palm
of your hand is your other-side. Let’s say the Palm, is Christ. Your
hand is not your hand without the top and the Palm together as ONE hand.
You can grab-hold of something with it… or let it go… but it is all ONE
hand. Yet it has two sides. One side of your hand is different than the
other. . .but it’s all one hand. When we say we are ONE with Christ we
are meaning we are like our hand. We have a top and a bottom; the top
isn’t the Palm, but it’s all one hand. One hand! No separation! We don’t
call it a top, nor do we call it a palm. We call it a hand.
We could go further, and say the Hand is God, Father-Son-Holy Spirit.
We could put the Hand in a glove, and say the glove is you or me. The
glove has no life of its own without the Hand in it. It’s the Hand that
makes the glove come alive.
Faith and Desire – An Exchange between Nancy Gilmore and Ole – Part 5
PART 5
Ole Henrik: You know how it is: How we are assailed
by doubt, the feeling of standstill, confusion (is this what I really
want etc etc), the varying emotions, the overwhelming impossibilities,
the waiting, the impatience, the pain……I am also reminded about the lie
from Eden which even now daily confronts us: “Has God really said?”
followed by a string of arguments why God can’t have said so. It can
often be quite a challenge to doggedly push through that wall of lies
and continue unwavering in faith trusting that God in fact has spoken.
It is, however, definitely good training to be assailed from every
direction.
Nancy: Your soul is very active… but that’s not you.
. . you are spirit, and spirit is much deeper, or higher than soul.
Soul is influenced by the world voices crashing up against your soul to
assail you, to pull you down, to torment you. King David had that, and
he told his soul to ‘shut-up!’ I’ve done the same over the years from
time to time. If you put your forefinger…one on each side of your
temple… -that stuff that is playing between your two temples is like a
tape recorder screeching going fast forward- and then on to continuous
play, then rewinding and doing it again. You have control over that!
You can push the STOP button on that tape recorder any time you are sick
and tired of that screaming noise, or tell that crap to shut-up like
David did! And when you mean it, it will obey you. You’re in union with
the One in authority.
The soul is vital for it is a go-between for the world to crash up
against it and touch the Spirit of the living God; and for the
Spirit-spirit union of Christ as you to flow out through the soul to the
world! The soul can be like the turbulent sea turning and tossing in
every direction by the voices of the world…. but the power is not in the
waves of the sea, but in the depth of the sea where it is still and
calm. In actuality, you live in the depth of the sea with Christ; or
riding the high place of the earth with Him. Like I told you I sit in
the balcony and watch the spotlight shinning on the different events in
my life in the grand arena; you can do the same thing in viewing your
life. You can “separate yourself from all that noise” by taking your
position in the throne room of God with Christ, standing with Him and
seeing a far-off from all that stuff. Ask the Lord to take the scales
off your eyes so that you can ‘see Him’ living as you, and you seated or
standing with Him in the peace and power of the deep sea, or the throne
room of God.
He will do that.
Ole Henrik: In part 3 you wrote: “I gave up trusting
in myself back in those early years.” Do you trust yourself now when
Christ as you is an established fact in you?
Nancy: You know what…it’s absolutely true, what you
take, takes you. SO no, I never trust in my self. I trust in the Lord
ONLY. . .- but then again He is my True Self! So do I trust in my self?
Of course, I do. I’ve never thought much about it, though! He is the
One I’m conscious of as me. . .and yet I just live and do what is within
my means that I’d like to do. It’s a paradox. He is forever and always
my means by which I do all things. I’ve more or less lost consciousness
of my self; well, not really, here I am. Yet Christ occupies me with
what He is doing. Except when I look in the mirror and see how much
weight I gained, and then I always say to the Lord, I don’t like the way
I look! I don’t think it’s good for me to carry all this weight, and
sit at the computer all day, without getting any exercise; but there’s
no sense of me asking you to help me lose all this weight, because I
already know You’re not going to help me do anything. You’re going to
take my place and do it for me, as me; and so far I still look fat! So
I’m just going to be visualizing how thin and beautiful I really am; and
I’m going to act like that too. Even on my deathbed, I’ll be thin and
beautiful!
If I want to do something and am enabled to do it, I just do it, and
count it as Christ living as me. If I want to do something and can’t do
it, I just don’t do it and count it as Christ living as me. We are never
self-acting-selves! NEVER!
I don’t become Christ. He is forever my ‘other half’… the Person I am
joined too. He is the real Person living AS me. In fact He’s writing
this to you right now. Or is it me? We only do what we see Him doing as
us. And many times without much notice. We just find ourselves doing it
even when we didn’t know previously we were going to be doing it. It’s a
total spontaneous life of faith!
Being conscious of a Person who is your other half, puts the pressure
on your other half. I expect Christ to be living as me in every way!
24/7!
I will say He has done some risky things as me at times that I would
have never done. He doesn’t spare your reputation for a minute. But
then, you don’t care, do you! Well, you do, but you don’t! You are
living in a suspended oneness with Christ. It’s an easy life! You just
do the next thing. Or whatever you’re made to do. Whatsoever you desire.
It is God who is at work in you both to will and to do of His good
pleasure. He’s done some things as me, I would have never done. But then
again, how can you help but do what you are made to do. It’s a totally
relaxed life, and with the guarantee it is Christ living as you. He
cannot lie! That’s our security-blanket, that comforts us. And he makes
us “a cannot lie person, too”.
In the long run all you care about is others and the Lord doing His
thing as you. I’m in control, because I’m always out of control. We are
in the resurrection, and THAT HOLY Spirit of God in us knows more about
our desire than we do!
There were times in the past when I thought I wanted a certain thing,
and didn’t get it in the way I thought I would; and in later years I
worship the Lord with all my heart for NOT letting things work out like I
thought I wanted them too, earlier. You see the deepest desire in us is
really Christ desiring our desires as us. He knows His own plan and He
causes us to see our desire is exactly what we really wanted all along.
This is what I mean by The Adventure of faith can be fun! It’s being
loved in a Satisfied Life in a way that no other Person is able to
produce.
Faith and Desire – An Exchange between Nancy Gilmore and Ole – Part 6
PART 6
Ole Henrik: The word is made flesh in you and me,
and since that is so it seems to me important to God to call us to faith
as co-operators with Him since He speaks through our mouths. Whenever
we remain in unbelief in our consciousnesses that channel is blocked, as
it were. But, He continually calls our consciousnesses to step into the
throne room seeing us standing by His side speaking our words of faith
in accordance with our desires or inner drive or calling.
Nancy: “The word is made flesh in you and me, and since
that is so it seems to me important to God to call us to faith as
co-operators with Him since He speaks through our mouths.” Yes, indeed! We are co-operators with Him! 24/7! Brilliant! Indeed, He does call us always, upward!
This is an illusion:
“Whenever we remain in unbelief in our consciousnesses that channel is blocked, as it were.”
This statement is sense-knowledge. Sense-knowledge is an enemy to
faith. Sense knowledge opposes faith, don’t you think? Faith calls the
things that be not even as though they were. Faith does. And even when
we don’t believe, He is greater! HE IS GREATER than anything we can
imagine! Leave yourself alone: You ARE perfect! You cannot be improved
upon. You cannot be upbraided for asking anything, as many times as you
wish to. Unless He tells you to shut-up… and be still, and know the
Lord!
But this is Not an illusion:
“He continually calls our consciousnesses to step into the throne room seeing us standing. .” by
His side (?) or IN Him? Location is important and we locate ourselves
IN Him. Not beside of Him. He is our other half, but as one person.
“Speaking our words of faith in accordance with our desires or inner drive or calling.”
We only have one obedience; just one, and it’s the obedience of faith,
not the obedience of desire. Desire is the outworking of our
faith-union. Remember desire was trapped in the 1st. spirit of the 7fold
spirit of God. It is only released in the Faith Person who is the 4th
spirit in the 7fold spirit of God… we are IN Him.
Romans 16; the obedience of faith. . . this is what changes Nations. We walk by faith. Faith IS the substance, not desire.
