Friday 26 September 2008

Rory and Wendy's message and Heather Clark

I was going to put up Rory and Wendy's message on Lakeland but Lydia Joy beat me to it. Heather Clark does not write every week, her blog is linked on Lydia Joy's site: A joy to be me.
This is what she wrote on 30th August about her experiences.

Gosh I'm naive
This is taking some toll on me I think but I am trying to walk strong. Todd has come out that he was sinned and that’s hard on us all. It’s hard on those who walked closely with him, his staff and team.

I realized that some people don’t even think he’s saved. They think he’s leading the church of Satan, stuff like that. They call him a FREAK, hellish and demonic. That breaks my heart to be honest. Some of those youtubers (Youthoughtyouknew being one of them- thank God he can’t comment on here) just cruel mean in the name of discernment. Thinks I’m just the dirt under a dogs foot with a brain about the size of a nut. I was half hoping he was into MMA and him and Nolan could face off :)

So I am realizing that I am part of a mean family. I am STILL shocked at what people will say. At first I thought it was just because people felt brave on their computers and that they would never say things like that in real life... not so. You know one of Todd’s associates was SLAPPED IN THE FACE in Target. Like are you KIDDING ME? That’s for real. The lies are amazing! And what’s true? Todd sinned. That’s true. I’m upset with him. I can’t turn my back on him. I just can’t. It’s not in me. Somehow though people think that means I talk to the dead and go to Starbucks with Emma every few days! Come on already.

So my other realization is that I am being grouped IN with people (more like doctrines) that I not only disagree with but that I have distanced friendships over and there are people I won’t minister with (never met them before) due to such things. Yet people think I BELIEVE that stuff. Dang. I don’t. I think that stuff is dangerous.

It’s a FINE FINE line walking whether or not to minister at certain events. I do ONLY if I think that I can be me and bring who I am what I have to offer. That means I have to feel like I can influence the worshippers with Christ centered worship. I would never have thought of myself as out there. Isn’t that funny? I mean I’m so down the middle of the road on my beliefs. I don’t have any fringe heresies I’m carrying around.

Well now I do dance that’s true! And I sing words that aren’t on the screen - got me there too! But if it’s any consolation I’m dancing for the glory of God and I’m singing cause I can’t help it.... I’m in love.

You know I don’t know what to believe about Lakeland. I felt God. I was changed. I was personally healed. I was renewed. I loved my family more. I saw my kids fall in love deeper with Jesus. My 5 year old was totally impacted by the Lord. My 1YEAR old - EVERY SINGLE DAY says to me now “mo desus mamma” (more Jesus mamma) Every day. I turn the worship music off and he has a fit.

Now that doesn’t mean I don’t think there was hype - yes sure... flesh... yes sure... and demonic - sure. There is going to be a mixture in everything! But I met the Lord. And I felt like I could really run in the worship cause those people who came were hungry and it was the first time I felt like I could run and they could keep up. It was awesome! It was so amazing. Thank you to all those who were there in those services. That was a dream come true.

I was the real deal. I want revival and healing and freedom and deliverance and passion and holiness - the real deal.

I’m so naive though. I always think the best until the last second. I think, “no they didn’t really mean that I’m demonized” - uh no heather they did mean that! So that’s ..... hard a bit. I’m not sure if I should be stronger than that. You don’t need to email me a bunch of encouraging notes over it. I’m not going to fall short of anything over it, nor am I going to let it slow me down, but it brings a reality check to me.

So mean..... can you believe we’re that mean? I still don’t believe it. Even at the END of writing this... I’m still in shock. I’m not sure what’s worse... Todd’s sin or all the cruelty it brought out of the rest of us!


lydia said...

Boy, I really like that woman!!! I am glad you put this up! And I am with Heather on the reality many are more concerned with Todd Bentley's sin and tattoos, and the odd stuff that they are willing to treat other brothers and sisters like dirt!! This whole Lakeland thing was good on so many levels, a wake up call in a lot of ways. How the body treats the body, sure is quite eye opening!!!

Jamie said...

Great post!