I was raised Christian, but left the church as a teenager because I encountered Christians that made me feel like I didn’t fit in and wasn’t a true Christian based on my interests and how I dressed.
At that time I didn’t think Christ was for me, actually used to tell people that Christ and I had a relationship but it didn’t work out and we broke up because that’s how it felt.
After leaving the church, I feel deep into occult beliefs and surrounded myself with people who were very anti Christianity and lived lifestyles that are completely incompatible with Christianity.
It constantly made me feel depressed and anxious, there was always a gnawing hole inside of me that I tried to fill with many things- never worked.
I was also born with moderate scoliosis where I had to wear a back brace when I was younger, eventually it turned into severe scoliosis and I was no longer able to do my career as an esthetician specializing in waxing and makeup because my left leg kept buckling.
Can never remember a time in my life where I didn’t have back pain, it was a constant companion.
Fast forward to the age of 30.
4 back surgeries, 2 of them fusions, now I’m at 4 rods, 40 screws, 2 disc spacers, essentially a unit from my collarbones down into my hips.
I went back to Christ during the whole surgery process, and it felt like going home.
There was absolutely no way I could have gotten through it without Him.
He was with me during the pain before I underwent the surgeries where I prayed that He would just take me home instead of staying here because of suffering and being bedridden.
He was there with me in the OR guiding the surgeons.
He was with me in the hospital post surgery where I felt more pain than I’ve ever felt, much higher than natural childbirth.
Indescribable excruciating pain where I prayed constantly for strength and to be covered with His light to endure it.
He was there during 2 years of PT but with His grace, now I’m working full time in a different career and can do things that my PT’s said I might never be able to do, all because of Christ.
Now I’m able to be an active parent, not be consumed with anger and frustration, not drinking to cope, able to serve with a local homeless outreach center, able to be active in my church and community.
This is the best quality of life I’ve ever had, and the healthiest I’ve ever been emotionally and mentally.
I did lose almost all of my friends when I went back to the church which at the time was devastating, but now I see it for what it is.
Christ was moving me to separate myself from those that are spiritually unhealthy.
Still trying to find a church that feels like home, really I feel most comfortable when I’m at the homeless outreach center during services sitting with our guests in the pews.
But I have faith Christ will lead to the right congregation, and he will help me achieve my future goal of becoming a licensed social worker specializing in adults that deal with both mental illness and substance abuse.
I have a serving heart, that’s why God put me here.
That’s why He made me with a back deformity, so I can understand suffering and depression.
I’m help my daughter grow and guide her to be the highest version of herself with Christ’s love and strength, and to be an example of Christ by helping those that are also hurting and lost and suffering.
You don’t have to look a certain way to be a Christian, some of the most devout people I know are covered in tattoos they got done in prison.
You can always be redeemed, Christ wants you back and you are always enough.
This is what a Christian looks like.
Testimony by: Kaleigh O'Neil
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